It's 9:07, the world cup just started, and I'm stuck at work trying to watch the match on a 4-inch tv using computer speakers as antennae (don't ask). It's in black and white, by the way, which wouldn't be such a big deal if the screen wasn't flickering and fuzzy. Oh, and it's en espanol. Germany just scored two quick goals and I have a ton of work to do. I'm a dead man.

In one month, when Holland wins, I will be laughing.